Unbucket List

It's that magical time of year again, when everyone is examining their plans and desires, and I have noticed a dramatic increase of the number of "bucket lists" I see when I'm scanning my Facebook feed.

I don't have an official bucket list - sure there are things I yearn to do before I leave the mortal coil: Skydiving, ride a mechanical bull, learn how to juggle, pull an awesome April Fools' prank, etc.

Honestly though, there are a lot of things I yearn to arrive at the pearly gates saying that I haven't done.  I have decided to name this list my "Unbucket List" - fitting title, no?

Things I wish not to do (and thus far haven't done - I can't include "lock my keys out of my car" because d'oh - I've done that one):

- Run out of gas
- Be kidnapped by a torture-obsessed serial killer
- Break a leg (in the metaphorical sense)
- Have someone overhear me describing how ugly their baby is
- Pass audible gas while making a speech
- Sever a finger or limb while using a table saw
- Become too PC for Cards Against Humanity

That's it for now - there are lots of other things I don't want to do, but I think that's a sufficient list for the start of 2015.