Why I love Netflix

Back in May, I ran into a problem with  my Netflix account - a mysterious problem where I couldn't watch any movies.  Obviously, this made me very sad, so I used the chat option for customer service (cell reception in my house is awful, I suspect it would be a very effective bomb shelter - as the walls must be WICKED thick).

Our chat was pretty normal, until there was a bit of down time, as "Joel," the Netflix customer service rep, was waiting for information on what was up with my account.

Because I like you so much, I am just going to post this portion of the transcript here for your enjoyment:

Netflix Joel

Thank you for all your patience you are awesome, Jessica!

You

Thanks, I appreciate what you're doing!

Netflix Joel

Awww, that makes me feel good, a fuzzy and stuff!

You

:)

Netflix Joel

I can't do a smiley but if I could it would be one of those big wacky smiley ones.

You

Ha ha - excellent!

Netflix Joel

Lol, your great, I'm on hold with my research team, but we are almost there.

You

Thanks!

Netflix Joel

It's all good in the neighbor hood.

Netflix Joel

I'm on it like ugly on a warthog.

You

Hmmm - trying to think of a good analogy - like a teenage girl on a sale at Hollister

Netflix Joel

Hehe, like saddles on a surfer.

You

Or compound interest on a credit card

Netflix Joel

Haha, that's a good one....ummm okay, like cheese on a burrito.

Netflix Joel

Jessica, I found out what is going on here.

You

Hooray!

You

Perhaps I should hold off on Hoorays until I know it's something easily fixed

Netflix Joel

I was telling you before that we were trying to manually verify your account right, so it looks like we ran in to an issue with your email on fix. It is an easy fix. You are able to stream now, but we need you to do three things. 1 is to change your email address on the account. 2 change your password on your Gmail account and 3 to reset your netflix password. Just to make sure everything is secure and safe, and you have no more problems, okie doke?

You

Sounds good to me!! Did my account get compromised or something?

Netflix Joel

No it didn't, but something happen to raise a flag, so just to make sure it doesn't we want you to do those three things.

You

All right - will do - thanks for all your assistance!

Netflix Joel

No, problem is there anything else I can help you with today, Jessica?

You

Nope, that was it!

Netflix Joel

Awesome, it was so great chatting with you, you made my day! Remember if you need anything we are here 24/7, have an AWESOME day! And one more thing if you wouldn't mind, please stay on the line for a one questions survey!

The moral of this (super awesome) story is that Netflix is definitely doing something right in the customer service department. I was motivated to post this after seeing another great example of good chat CS online.

Most Amazing Ad on Craigslist

Not just a 1997 Subaru Legacy L AWD Automatic - A Dream Come True! - $800 (Bangor, ME)

One fine looking car

1997 Subaru Legacy L Wagon, Silver, Automatic Transmission, AWD

This is the opportunity of a lifetime. This isn't just a car, it's a lifestyle. Not only has this car driven over 225,000 miles, but it is also a piece of marriage equality history, if you take a look at the rear of the car, you'll see a bumper sticker from the most recent (and SUCCESSFUL!) campaign for marriage equality in Maine. Above that is a rainbow lobster, this sticker was given to me for making the most calls during one of my shifts making phone calls for marriage equality the previous time it was on the ballot. The car also has an old timey sticker that says: "Pirate Girls kick butt" a belief shared by the majority of hip Americans. The rear window is graced with a sticker from my Alma Mater, University of Maine at Machias - even if you never went there, know it's an awesome school.

Now, this is not just a bumper sticker sale - there's a car here! This is my beloved 1997 Subaru Legacy L Wagon. Her name, since 2005, has been Shelly, but you can feel free to rename her. I recently had to buy a newer car, and I felt like a tiny part of me died a little bit, because I've been a Subaru Pirate girl for eight years, but it was time. 

It's YOUR turn to be a Subaru Pirate Girl (or boy, whichever the case may be). I'm not going to lie to you and say that she's in perfect condition - there are quirks, that's what you get with a car with so much experience. Right now, she needs a new alternator (which means you will either need to tow her, or replace the alternator in my driveway before you take her away). This just happened a couple of weeks ago, and when it did, I couldn't get her to the dealership as my trade in.

There are a few other issues: there is a crack in the windshield, she needs some new brakes, the rear windshield wiper motor died (I had a bike rack on and accidentally turned the rear wiper on, which burned it out). The "check engine" light has been on since 2006. If you're at all familiar with older Subarus, you know that this can easily be fixed by putting a piece of duct tape over the check engine light. The air conditioner works GREAT - however, the button won't stay in by itself, so I jam a piece of folded paper in and it works fine.

Yes, I know - those are some serious issues, but let's look at the positives!!!

Everything you could possibly need!

- The body is in fantastic condition. Every year, I have faithfully checked for any rust, and then sanded, treated for rust, primed and painted, I will give you all of my supplies so you can keep up on the maintenance, although it has been done for this year. *Yes - that is a dent on the door in the picture - but it's a rust-free dent. I've just added a photo of all of the great supplies you'll receive: Primer, Paint, Putty, Sandpaper, Rust Treatment. There have been times in my life when I felt a little out of touch, like I didn't have a lot of useful skills - in stepped my mechanic with some lessons on doing body work. I'm passing this torch to YOU.

- She comes with a full size spare - not just a donut!

- All of the windows, lights, cruise control, mirrors, etc. work great. 

Oooh! Aaah!

- Functional Cassette player (and am/fm radio) - I would even be willing to throw in my copy of The Police's Synchronicity if you want, and, if you're REALLY cool, my collection of audiobooks.

- Free bike rack with the car (if you want it) - this is the reason the rear wiper motor died, it is also super handy - you can carry two bikes with it! I haven't used the bike rack in ages, so there might be some spiders on it, but I'm pretty sure you can handle that.

- If you decide to replace the alternator in the driveway, I would be happy to stand behind you with a flashlight, and say encouraging things while you work on it.

- I'd be happy to provide you with the name and number of my mechanic, if you're local. He specializes in Subarus and is just about the nicest guy you'll ever meet (he's also a clown! Not the scary kind, the kind that charges really reasonable rates on car repairs).

I could fill a dozen craigslist ads with stories about this fantastic car, and all you have to do is give her a chance!

Lessons my Subaru taught me:
- Cup holders are not meant for ice cream cones (the ice cream will melt in your cruise control button and you'll have to jam a piece of paper in there to keep it on)
- All silver subaru legacy wagons are not the same - so, if your key won't turn in the lock, make sure it's actually your car (note: the presence of a car seat is a pretty good indicator)
- Always carry newspapers or towels with you, that way, when you and your passengers are all dressed as zombies, you won't feel the need to explain the blood splatters to everyone at work

Please email with any questions, offers, etc. In case you can't tell, the car is being sold as is.

Sorry folks, no license plate included

Yes, this is my car ad, and yes, I am making an attempt to get you, or your friends to buy my car!!! In my defense - this is a truly incredible car!!!!

Because I keep thinking of more great things to tell you about my car, you should visit the Craig's List link directly.

Winning Things vs. Dating

I love to win things.  It's definitely my number one hobby.  I'm not a fan of doing drugs - but I am pretty sure there is not a single chemical on the market that can make me feel more exhilarated than I do when I find out I won something awesome.

I don't really love to date.  My last *relationship* relationship was when the year started with a two and two zeros, I'd count, but I think it might make me question my choices about adopting more cats.

One of my beloved sisters has recently started online dating, and, being her younger sister, I was immediately jealous.  I decided to dust off my old online profile (and by dust off, I mean posting a more current picture, because there's not much lamer than using old, more attractive pictures of yourself when you're doing online dating - it will only lead to worry and disappointment. I make sure there's at least one full body picture of me, so no one can argue that there was false advertising of any sort).

I'm not sure if it's a spring thing, or if I did something different, but I received a flurry of messages from eligible bachelors in my local vicinity.  Yes, there were the requests for sexual favors that I immediately deleted, and blocked, but there were also messages from a few fellows who didn't seem like complete and total losers.

I had a date scheduled for last night, but ended up canceling it because I decided that dating someone who is serious about their religion is not going to work for me.  I 100% support people being as into their religion as they want to, but I know that would equal a serious incompatibility, as I am a lapsed non-Catholic, which is about as un-religious as you can get, while still saying "Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus" when someone runs a stop sign and almost hits you.

I decided I need to be more choosey before blindly saying "yes" to a date, and then feeling like a jerk when I cancel.  So, I've started a list of pros and cons - I'll use these to evaluate the profiles of my gentleman callers, and that should help.

It's not that I equate racism and misuse of certain words - it's just that both are totally unacceptable to me.

I've yet to get the high from any of this dating nonsense that comes from winning a trip to California, or a big ol' wad of cash, but it just might happen.

Until then, I have my sweepstakes and my cats.

Dear Jessy

I hope to keep my "Dear Jessy" Advice column as a regular blog feature, and this is where you can find all of the posts!  If you'd like to send me a question/letter - just cue up your email and send it to jerushablue@gmail.com

3/15/2103:  My New Pope

3/11/2013: Zombie Apocalypse

Dear Jessy - My New Pope

The newest addition to my "Dear Jessy" faux-advice column.  The advice isn't faux, the letters are.

Dear Jessy,

With all the scandal and ridiculousness in the Catholic Church over the past few decades, what's the big deal over the new Pope?

Losing My Religion in America

Artist's Interpretation

Dear LMR,

I totally get how you're feeling, even if I have a different response to it.  The Catholic Church has been less than stellar lately.  From the epidemic of child abuse, to the marginalization of the nuns, things have been pretty cruddy in Catholicland of late.

While I would have jumped at the opportunity to be the new Pope, I was sadly never even approached by a single Cardinal.  I'm totally over it, although the illustration above should give you an idea of how very awesome I would be (FYI - the scanner only does black and white, but the shoes are highlighter orange).

I'm actually pretty excited about a new Pope.  Some things about Francis I that make me happy are his devotion to the poor, and that he studied Chemistry in college - those are both great things!  Of course, I disagree heartily with his take on gay rights, but were we really expecting anything different?  My hope is that he will look in his heart, maybe spend some time praying, and will realize that bigotry has no place in a faith that professes loving one another as one of its main tenets.  I'm an optimistic gal, so I will keep on hoping!

The newest piece of information that leads me to believe the Pope can change his tune, and by changing his tune, potentially change the tune of millions of Catholics around the world, is the op-ed piece written by GOP US Senator Rob Portman of Ohio. Senator Portman was previously anti-gay marriage, but when his son came out in 2011, it caused him to question his beliefs.  My very favorite quote from the commentary is:

"I’ve thought a great deal about this issue, and like millions of Americans in recent years, I’ve changed my mind on the question of marriage for same-sex couples. As we strive as a nation to form a more perfect union, I believe all of our sons and daughters ought to have the same opportunity to experience the joy and stability of marriage." 

I highly recommend you read the entire piece at The Columbus Dispatch.

So, after all of that, I say YES - it is a big deal that we have a new Pope, even for lapsed non-Catholics like me.  Try to see the world through my rose-colored glasses; there is so much potential for positive change!!

Dear Jessy - Zombie Apocalypse

Have I ever mentioned that I'd like to be an advice columnist? It sounds like the best job ever.  People ask questions, and then you give your opinion, and it's just your opinion, so it's not like there's a right or wrong answer.  Unless someone asks for the square root of X, I am comfortable in my abilities to cobble together some sort of answer.

Because I am not an advice columnist, but have so very much wisdom to share with the world, I decided I'll just make my own advice column - ask myself questions.  If you decide you would like to ask a question - just do it in a comment, and I'll answer as best I can!

Dear Jessy,

Do you think that a zombie apocalypse is coming, and if so, what should people do to get ready for it?

Not-Yet-Undead in Cincinnati


Dear Not-Yet-Undead,

What a loaded question!  I know that zombies have been in the media a lot - primarily in movies, TV shows, etc., with the exception of the face eating that happened down in Florida last summer.  I don't *REALLY* think that a zombie apocalypse is going to happen any time soon - but I'm not one to say never.  Just think about all the money that is being spent on "Scientific Research" in the US - according to NBC News, roughly 2% of our taxes are going to scientific research - at least a little bit of that research is probably being done by shady men with suspicious moustaches, and women with diabolical heels, right?

Let's put it this way:  Think of 100 people you went to high school with (or maybe summer camp, work, something - some population of 100 people that you had at least a moderate familiarity with).  Now, think about the evil person(s) in that group.  There had to be at least one person who was just plain bad news - the kid/kids your Mom warned you not to spend too much time with.  Now imagine that person is some government funded scientist in an underground bunker somewhere; they are a scientific researcher, what do you think they're looking into?  Probably turning people into zombies.

If there is a zombie outbreak, I'm predicting it will start from one of four sources:

1. Evil Scientist trying to reanimate their lost love
2. Meteor (I'm looking at you, Russia)
3. Side-effect of genetically modified foods
4. Voodoo

Sure, there are lots of other causes, but I don't have the time or imagination for it today.  To prepare for the (extremely unlikely) disaster, here are my suggestions:

1. Head for the hills - literally - it's better to be at the top of a hill, that way you'll be able to see all the zombies and marauders coming your way
2. Invest in shutters now; glass is going to be zero help 
3. Don't bother with guns - in pretty much every zombie scenario EVER - their ears are not only still functional, but are extra awesome - you want to use baseball bats, sledge hammers, etc.  Flame throwers would probably be cool - until you had a flaming zombie running around lighting your house on fire
4. Stock up on the candy/cookies you like.  Imagine the apocalypse - pretty crappy, right? Now imagine the apocalypse with zero Peanut Butter M&Ms - way worse.

That's it for today.  

Just remember - if your loved ones are looking grey-faced, and try to bite you - don't just assume they're zombified and hit them with a hammer - take the time to see if they're hungover or something.

Until Tomorrow,

Jessy

If your relatives look like this - it might not be a bad idea to run away as fast as you can.

Crazy Mountain Ranch

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