Unbucket List

It's that magical time of year again, when everyone is examining their plans and desires, and I have noticed a dramatic increase of the number of "bucket lists" I see when I'm scanning my Facebook feed.

I don't have an official bucket list - sure there are things I yearn to do before I leave the mortal coil: Skydiving, ride a mechanical bull, learn how to juggle, pull an awesome April Fools' prank, etc.

Honestly though, there are a lot of things I yearn to arrive at the pearly gates saying that I haven't done.  I have decided to name this list my "Unbucket List" - fitting title, no?

Things I wish not to do (and thus far haven't done - I can't include "lock my keys out of my car" because d'oh - I've done that one):

- Run out of gas
- Be kidnapped by a torture-obsessed serial killer
- Break a leg (in the metaphorical sense)
- Have someone overhear me describing how ugly their baby is
- Pass audible gas while making a speech
- Sever a finger or limb while using a table saw
- Become too PC for Cards Against Humanity

That's it for now - there are lots of other things I don't want to do, but I think that's a sufficient list for the start of 2015.

Number One Mom

I faltered there for a little bit. I had the eleven year old in door-slamming-you're-ruining-my-life style tears, but I fixed it. Why did I do a thing like that? Well, because I'm the NUMBER ONE MOM. That's right - all you other moms eat your hearts out - Jessy's in town.

The issue was this: back at Thanksgiving, Asrai made plans with her cousins down in Saco to spend New Year's Eve with them - this sounded absolutely perfect - I could meet Shane or Martha halfway on Thursday - then when Dad and I head down for the Annual Brainerd Post Christmas Holiday Party, we could pick her up and everyone would be pleased as punch. Unfortunately - Mother Nature (say it with a grimace, people) had other plans.

We've got a "perfect storm" headed our way - I put perfect storm in quotes to remind you of the movie "the perfect storm" wherein some sailor/fishermen got caught in a "perfect storm" off the coast of Maine, the likes of which has never been seen, you know, until this coming weekend. The forecast of a nonspecific number of feet of snow was enough to make me say - "no, I'm not driving you down there" - hence, the life ruining. I tried to explain that my concern wasn't around driving to Augusta on Thursday (today, the day of cloudy sky and no snow) - it was retrieving her, the trip to Mass. has been cancelled, since we'd most likely spend the entire weekend in a snowbank slowly freezing to death, not participating in a rocking yankee swap and some youtube worthy charades - I didn't really want to drive down and get her on Friday.

But, as usual, I have come up with a delightful solution. I will just drive her all the way to Portland tonight, I'll hang out with the grownups at Shane & Martha's, while Asrai gets in some cousin time, and then we'll head back up north in the morning - hopefully avoiding the storm of the century.

Perfect? Yes, I do think so. I am hoping that the jet-engine sound my car's been rocking lately can be entirely attributed to the snow tires (don't as me how, I'm just going with the idea) - and not something wrong internally. As long as we have some blankets and yummy treats to eat (in case we end up in a snowbank) - I think we'll be fine.

I think my automotive bravery is going to earn me some serious cred for the new decade.