Cat Shaming? I don't think so.

I'm sure you've heard about the recent popularity of a fantastic web site devoted to "Dogshaming."  If, for some reason, you haven't - check it out - it's great.  I think what I like the most about it is that the dogs truly do look as though they're doing penance for their crimes against humans.

I've thought about all of the terrible traits of cats (this list is limited to cats that are currently living in my house):

• Eating so much that they vomit
• with a particular penchant for vomiting in places I am assured to step in it when I'm walking, barefoot to the bathroom at night, or
• vomiting on my bed, and then dragging the covers over it so I have a nice surprise when I go to snuggle in at night
• Peeing on laundry - generally, this is reserved for dirty laundry, but honestly, they don't really care
• Spreading cat litter on everything within two feet of the litter box, with the exception of their poop
• Scratching the walls, rather than pricey cat scratchers
• Attacking my mother
• Scratching screen windows to the point that I had to buy an air conditioner to keep it cool inside
• Knocking their water bowl over so that I get my socks wet

Wow.  If I did all of that, I would be SUPER ashamed, wouldn't you? 

My cats, however, are completely blase about the whole thing, and I suspect they laugh about me behind my back.  Why????

Fact of the day: Cats don't feel shame; they just feel awesome.

PS - I think some of this behavior is due to human tendancy to do embarrassing things like force them to wear Santa hats and stuff like that.

This earned me a nice, cold pile o' vomit in the bed

What's harder than giving a cat a bath?

Nothing.

Civil engineers have NOTHING on me.

I had to give my cat Gracie a bath yesterday. She's been suffering from fat-cat-dandruff lately, and all of the websites I could find recommended a bath for her. So - I brought her in the bathroom, and had Asrai come in as my backup.

It was HORRIBLE.

I am covered with scratches, I went through five towels, and ended up with plenty of deep welts all over me, including some really sexy ones on my chest. Gracie, I'm sure, has plenty of mental scars to compete with my physical ones.

Asrai probably has some serious mental scars too, because the last time Gracie clawed her way across my bare back (I had to take my shirt off because it was sopping wet and was hurting all of my injuries) - Asrai laughed, and I flipped out and screamed at her. I apologised when I saw her crying. It was just a bad situation for everyone.

I can't think of a better method. Maybe next time I should find a way to knock Gracie unconscious - that might be the only way to successfully bathe a cat.

I should have taken pictures, but I felt so bad for my little drowned rat-looking cat. This picture is pretty close to the reality that I experienced on Sunday, minus the blood running down my arms, chest, and back.

The Overeducated, Underemployed, Pretty F@cking Complacent Girl's Guide to Relationships

This is the first book that Kathryn and I started working on back in 2006.

Thoughtful Chapters include:

1. I'd rather stay home with my cats
2. If he really loves you, he'll clean the house
3. Avoiding familial nagging about your single status
4. The big "O" - why you don't need him
5. 101 ways to introduce yourself without looking like a desperate dumbass

I'll try to visit the different chapters in future blog posts - but this is what I've got for major headings at the moment.