Most Amazing Ad on Craigslist

Not just a 1997 Subaru Legacy L AWD Automatic - A Dream Come True! - $800 (Bangor, ME)

One fine looking car

1997 Subaru Legacy L Wagon, Silver, Automatic Transmission, AWD

This is the opportunity of a lifetime. This isn't just a car, it's a lifestyle. Not only has this car driven over 225,000 miles, but it is also a piece of marriage equality history, if you take a look at the rear of the car, you'll see a bumper sticker from the most recent (and SUCCESSFUL!) campaign for marriage equality in Maine. Above that is a rainbow lobster, this sticker was given to me for making the most calls during one of my shifts making phone calls for marriage equality the previous time it was on the ballot. The car also has an old timey sticker that says: "Pirate Girls kick butt" a belief shared by the majority of hip Americans. The rear window is graced with a sticker from my Alma Mater, University of Maine at Machias - even if you never went there, know it's an awesome school.

Now, this is not just a bumper sticker sale - there's a car here! This is my beloved 1997 Subaru Legacy L Wagon. Her name, since 2005, has been Shelly, but you can feel free to rename her. I recently had to buy a newer car, and I felt like a tiny part of me died a little bit, because I've been a Subaru Pirate girl for eight years, but it was time. 

It's YOUR turn to be a Subaru Pirate Girl (or boy, whichever the case may be). I'm not going to lie to you and say that she's in perfect condition - there are quirks, that's what you get with a car with so much experience. Right now, she needs a new alternator (which means you will either need to tow her, or replace the alternator in my driveway before you take her away). This just happened a couple of weeks ago, and when it did, I couldn't get her to the dealership as my trade in.

There are a few other issues: there is a crack in the windshield, she needs some new brakes, the rear windshield wiper motor died (I had a bike rack on and accidentally turned the rear wiper on, which burned it out). The "check engine" light has been on since 2006. If you're at all familiar with older Subarus, you know that this can easily be fixed by putting a piece of duct tape over the check engine light. The air conditioner works GREAT - however, the button won't stay in by itself, so I jam a piece of folded paper in and it works fine.

Yes, I know - those are some serious issues, but let's look at the positives!!!

Everything you could possibly need!

- The body is in fantastic condition. Every year, I have faithfully checked for any rust, and then sanded, treated for rust, primed and painted, I will give you all of my supplies so you can keep up on the maintenance, although it has been done for this year. *Yes - that is a dent on the door in the picture - but it's a rust-free dent. I've just added a photo of all of the great supplies you'll receive: Primer, Paint, Putty, Sandpaper, Rust Treatment. There have been times in my life when I felt a little out of touch, like I didn't have a lot of useful skills - in stepped my mechanic with some lessons on doing body work. I'm passing this torch to YOU.

- She comes with a full size spare - not just a donut!

- All of the windows, lights, cruise control, mirrors, etc. work great. 

Oooh! Aaah!

- Functional Cassette player (and am/fm radio) - I would even be willing to throw in my copy of The Police's Synchronicity if you want, and, if you're REALLY cool, my collection of audiobooks.

- Free bike rack with the car (if you want it) - this is the reason the rear wiper motor died, it is also super handy - you can carry two bikes with it! I haven't used the bike rack in ages, so there might be some spiders on it, but I'm pretty sure you can handle that.

- If you decide to replace the alternator in the driveway, I would be happy to stand behind you with a flashlight, and say encouraging things while you work on it.

- I'd be happy to provide you with the name and number of my mechanic, if you're local. He specializes in Subarus and is just about the nicest guy you'll ever meet (he's also a clown! Not the scary kind, the kind that charges really reasonable rates on car repairs).

I could fill a dozen craigslist ads with stories about this fantastic car, and all you have to do is give her a chance!

Lessons my Subaru taught me:
- Cup holders are not meant for ice cream cones (the ice cream will melt in your cruise control button and you'll have to jam a piece of paper in there to keep it on)
- All silver subaru legacy wagons are not the same - so, if your key won't turn in the lock, make sure it's actually your car (note: the presence of a car seat is a pretty good indicator)
- Always carry newspapers or towels with you, that way, when you and your passengers are all dressed as zombies, you won't feel the need to explain the blood splatters to everyone at work

Please email with any questions, offers, etc. In case you can't tell, the car is being sold as is.

Sorry folks, no license plate included

Yes, this is my car ad, and yes, I am making an attempt to get you, or your friends to buy my car!!! In my defense - this is a truly incredible car!!!!

Because I keep thinking of more great things to tell you about my car, you should visit the Craig's List link directly.

Winning Things vs. Dating

I love to win things.  It's definitely my number one hobby.  I'm not a fan of doing drugs - but I am pretty sure there is not a single chemical on the market that can make me feel more exhilarated than I do when I find out I won something awesome.

I don't really love to date.  My last *relationship* relationship was when the year started with a two and two zeros, I'd count, but I think it might make me question my choices about adopting more cats.

One of my beloved sisters has recently started online dating, and, being her younger sister, I was immediately jealous.  I decided to dust off my old online profile (and by dust off, I mean posting a more current picture, because there's not much lamer than using old, more attractive pictures of yourself when you're doing online dating - it will only lead to worry and disappointment. I make sure there's at least one full body picture of me, so no one can argue that there was false advertising of any sort).

I'm not sure if it's a spring thing, or if I did something different, but I received a flurry of messages from eligible bachelors in my local vicinity.  Yes, there were the requests for sexual favors that I immediately deleted, and blocked, but there were also messages from a few fellows who didn't seem like complete and total losers.

I had a date scheduled for last night, but ended up canceling it because I decided that dating someone who is serious about their religion is not going to work for me.  I 100% support people being as into their religion as they want to, but I know that would equal a serious incompatibility, as I am a lapsed non-Catholic, which is about as un-religious as you can get, while still saying "Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus" when someone runs a stop sign and almost hits you.

I decided I need to be more choosey before blindly saying "yes" to a date, and then feeling like a jerk when I cancel.  So, I've started a list of pros and cons - I'll use these to evaluate the profiles of my gentleman callers, and that should help.

It's not that I equate racism and misuse of certain words - it's just that both are totally unacceptable to me.

I've yet to get the high from any of this dating nonsense that comes from winning a trip to California, or a big ol' wad of cash, but it just might happen.

Until then, I have my sweepstakes and my cats.

Dear Jessy

I hope to keep my "Dear Jessy" Advice column as a regular blog feature, and this is where you can find all of the posts!  If you'd like to send me a question/letter - just cue up your email and send it to jerushablue@gmail.com

3/15/2103:  My New Pope

3/11/2013: Zombie Apocalypse

Dear Jessy - My New Pope

The newest addition to my "Dear Jessy" faux-advice column.  The advice isn't faux, the letters are.

Dear Jessy,

With all the scandal and ridiculousness in the Catholic Church over the past few decades, what's the big deal over the new Pope?

Losing My Religion in America

Artist's Interpretation

Dear LMR,

I totally get how you're feeling, even if I have a different response to it.  The Catholic Church has been less than stellar lately.  From the epidemic of child abuse, to the marginalization of the nuns, things have been pretty cruddy in Catholicland of late.

While I would have jumped at the opportunity to be the new Pope, I was sadly never even approached by a single Cardinal.  I'm totally over it, although the illustration above should give you an idea of how very awesome I would be (FYI - the scanner only does black and white, but the shoes are highlighter orange).

I'm actually pretty excited about a new Pope.  Some things about Francis I that make me happy are his devotion to the poor, and that he studied Chemistry in college - those are both great things!  Of course, I disagree heartily with his take on gay rights, but were we really expecting anything different?  My hope is that he will look in his heart, maybe spend some time praying, and will realize that bigotry has no place in a faith that professes loving one another as one of its main tenets.  I'm an optimistic gal, so I will keep on hoping!

The newest piece of information that leads me to believe the Pope can change his tune, and by changing his tune, potentially change the tune of millions of Catholics around the world, is the op-ed piece written by GOP US Senator Rob Portman of Ohio. Senator Portman was previously anti-gay marriage, but when his son came out in 2011, it caused him to question his beliefs.  My very favorite quote from the commentary is:

"I’ve thought a great deal about this issue, and like millions of Americans in recent years, I’ve changed my mind on the question of marriage for same-sex couples. As we strive as a nation to form a more perfect union, I believe all of our sons and daughters ought to have the same opportunity to experience the joy and stability of marriage." 

I highly recommend you read the entire piece at The Columbus Dispatch.

So, after all of that, I say YES - it is a big deal that we have a new Pope, even for lapsed non-Catholics like me.  Try to see the world through my rose-colored glasses; there is so much potential for positive change!!

Dear Jessy - Zombie Apocalypse

Have I ever mentioned that I'd like to be an advice columnist? It sounds like the best job ever.  People ask questions, and then you give your opinion, and it's just your opinion, so it's not like there's a right or wrong answer.  Unless someone asks for the square root of X, I am comfortable in my abilities to cobble together some sort of answer.

Because I am not an advice columnist, but have so very much wisdom to share with the world, I decided I'll just make my own advice column - ask myself questions.  If you decide you would like to ask a question - just do it in a comment, and I'll answer as best I can!

Dear Jessy,

Do you think that a zombie apocalypse is coming, and if so, what should people do to get ready for it?

Not-Yet-Undead in Cincinnati


Dear Not-Yet-Undead,

What a loaded question!  I know that zombies have been in the media a lot - primarily in movies, TV shows, etc., with the exception of the face eating that happened down in Florida last summer.  I don't *REALLY* think that a zombie apocalypse is going to happen any time soon - but I'm not one to say never.  Just think about all the money that is being spent on "Scientific Research" in the US - according to NBC News, roughly 2% of our taxes are going to scientific research - at least a little bit of that research is probably being done by shady men with suspicious moustaches, and women with diabolical heels, right?

Let's put it this way:  Think of 100 people you went to high school with (or maybe summer camp, work, something - some population of 100 people that you had at least a moderate familiarity with).  Now, think about the evil person(s) in that group.  There had to be at least one person who was just plain bad news - the kid/kids your Mom warned you not to spend too much time with.  Now imagine that person is some government funded scientist in an underground bunker somewhere; they are a scientific researcher, what do you think they're looking into?  Probably turning people into zombies.

If there is a zombie outbreak, I'm predicting it will start from one of four sources:

1. Evil Scientist trying to reanimate their lost love
2. Meteor (I'm looking at you, Russia)
3. Side-effect of genetically modified foods
4. Voodoo

Sure, there are lots of other causes, but I don't have the time or imagination for it today.  To prepare for the (extremely unlikely) disaster, here are my suggestions:

1. Head for the hills - literally - it's better to be at the top of a hill, that way you'll be able to see all the zombies and marauders coming your way
2. Invest in shutters now; glass is going to be zero help 
3. Don't bother with guns - in pretty much every zombie scenario EVER - their ears are not only still functional, but are extra awesome - you want to use baseball bats, sledge hammers, etc.  Flame throwers would probably be cool - until you had a flaming zombie running around lighting your house on fire
4. Stock up on the candy/cookies you like.  Imagine the apocalypse - pretty crappy, right? Now imagine the apocalypse with zero Peanut Butter M&Ms - way worse.

That's it for today.  

Just remember - if your loved ones are looking grey-faced, and try to bite you - don't just assume they're zombified and hit them with a hammer - take the time to see if they're hungover or something.

Until Tomorrow,

Jessy

If your relatives look like this - it might not be a bad idea to run away as fast as you can.

Crazy Mountain Ranch

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Chowder Love

Are you sad, lonely, depressed? Are you terribly unlovable?  Luckily for you - you happened across this post.  I have the cure for that.  I am quite comfortable diagnosing you with a tendency toward looking for love in all the wrong spices (yep, I went there).  The pot of deliciousness you will have as a result of using this recipe will make anyone (who is not lactose intolerant) love you (or they're stupid and don't deserve your love).

As the youngest of five, having grown up in a family where dinner was the meal preceded by my sister Faith, and I banging our spoons on our glasses and shrieking "Ding-a-ling-ding-ding time for DINNER" at the top of our lungs.  The food was never anything fancy - stews, meatloaf, quiche, hotdogs and beans, boiled dinners (we are true New Englanders at heart); more often than not the vegetables were canned (50/50 home grown and canned or grocery store stuff), and what could be, was purchased in bulk.

One of my FAVORITE meals growing up was fish chowder, and a few years ago, I realized I'd never made it for my daughter.  I emailed Mom and Faith, and both were surprised that I would ask - because chowder is so EASY.  Regardless of the easiness, neither was able to provide me with a workable recipe.

I did some googling, and all the recipes I found were baffling, and didn't sound remotely like the stuff we ate growing up.  The worst was when I came across recipes for Manhattan chowder which is RED (FYI - chowder should be a creamy color with little spots of golden buttery goodness on top).

Luckily, I found a publication at work - Recipe Ideas for Thrifty Families - I got the printed copy - but if you click on that link - you get the whole thing as a PDF for free.  The recipes are all good new england stuff - simple and delicious - and, yes, thrifty :)

Page 15 has the fish chowder recipe I used.  The first couple of times, I used that recipe exactly, but since it has evolved into my own recipe, which I will try to get down right for you:

• 1 - Medium Onion
• 2 tbsp - Butter 
• 4-5 decent size (a fist?) good potatoes - I prefer Yukon Gold, but you can go with whatever you want
• 1 lb fish (I go to the grocery store and get "chowder mix" - which usually includes only haddock, but sometimes there's some salmon in there too) - you can use more fish if you want.  The original recipe calls for Cod or something like that - but if you ask me it's nowhere near as good
• 4 cups water 
• 2 12 oz cans of evaporated milk - the original recipe calls for 2 cups of water, and fresh milk - but  chowder is WAY better if you use the evaporated stuff - much creamier
• 1 can of corn - anything other than creamed corn - I like the niblets
• Salt - a pinch, and then a decent amount to taste when it's finished
• Pepper - to taste

Instructions:

• Mince up your onions teeny tiny, and throw them in a saute pan with your butter until they reach that gorgeous translucent stage - you will most likely start drooling before they hit perfection.  
• Peel your potatoes and cut them into bite size pieces - 3/4 inch cube-ish - you can leave the skin on - but keep in mind that, unless your potatoes are organic, they do generally retain a lot of the toxins from any pesticides in their skin
• Throw the potatoes & butter/onion mix in to a decent size pot with the water, and a pinch of salt (a pinch of salt is literally that - stick your fingers in and pull out a pinch - otherwise, maybe 1/4 tsp?  Not much - just enough to get it boiling faster) - sometimes I'll pop just a few small bits of fish in the water when I first mix it all together, I have no idea if it makes any difference to the recipe - but probably no more than an ounce of the smaller bits of fish
• Bring the mixture to a boil - and simmer on medium/low for about 15 minutes
• Throw in the can of corn (be sure to include the water from the can)
• While this mix simmers together, cut your fish up into 1-inch-ish size pieces - Be sure to scrape off any pesky skin that might be stuck to it, and keep your eyes/fingers on the alert for any bones that might be hiding
• Check that your potatoes are cooked all the way through (super easy to check - pull the biggest piece of potato you see out with a spoon, then poke it with a fork, if the fork slides right through it - the potatoes are fully cooked.  If needed, repeat until you are positive they're all cooked through, and you've got a good idea of how delicious they will be.  This is a good chance to add a bit more salt, if you're of a mind to - it all depends on taste.
• When the potatoes are cooked through - throw all of your fish in - bring it back up to a boil, and cook on medium for about five minutes - your fish is done when it's gone from a semi-transparent gross raw look to a beautiful solid fully cooked look.  If you aren't sure what I mean - google it. The fish will also turn flaky when it's cooked, so try whomping some of it with a fork in the pot.
• When the fish is finished, throw in your cans of evaporated milk, and that's it! 

Your chowder is going to be okay; chowder is always fine the day you make it.  I suggest having fresh biscuits or rolls (with real butter) with it.  I PROMISE  you that it will be better the next day (unless you forget to put it in the fridge, then avoid it). The flavors will mingle, and your tongue and stomach will be so very happy.

Some other things you can do:

• Add carrots
• Leave out the fish and just have corn chowder (which is one of the best last minute meals a parent can have in their arsenal
• Add clams, mussels, scallops, shrimp, lobster, etc. pretty much any seafood will be a great addition to this.

The next time I make chowder I'll try to get a picture of the perfect onions, and when fish is cooked to add to this, so you don't have to resort to googling.