Netflix Christmas Streaming

Updated as of November 25, 2018 - if you're on Facebook, like the page, and you will see when there are updates.

This is what I call an act of love…

12 Neighs of Christmas - (coming December 7th) - This is a wild Christmas episode of a british show (free Rein) about a zoo - complete with family secrets and a Christmas ball!

48 Christmas Wishes - This looks pretty cute - when something happens to all the letters to Santa in one small town - the big guy's elves try to fix things up.

Abominable Christmas - Two little Abominables trying to escape an evil scientist meet a young girl and spend Christmas with her family.

All American Christmas Carol - Reviews are NOT very positive - apparently this is a bit of a twisted take on the classic "A Christmas Carol" "Scrooge" story, with Taryn Manning (of OITNB fame these days) playing the Scrooge character, and being given the opportunity to turn her life around with the help of three ghosts (one of whom is played by Meatloaf). 

Angela's Christmas - (coming November 30th) - this is an animated show based on a story by the amazing Frank McCourt - author of Angela's Ashes.  I hope this will end up being the classic I want it to be!

Angels in the Snow - a grumpy family on a Christmas vacation take in a stranded family.  There is apparently a big twist at the end, don't read the reviews if you don't want spoilers.

Bad Santa - Willie and Marcus are the absolute worst Santa and Elf, because of the fact that they are awful people, and are criminals.  This is a really dark movie, but it does have some serious sweetness at its core. This is NOT a movie for the whole family, unless your whole family is comprised of adults.

Bad Santa 2 - They're back! The worst possible Santa and Elf duo return, with the help of Kathy Bates as Willie's mom.  I haven't seen this, but the original was pretty spectacular. 

Beethoven's Christmas Adventure - everyone's favorite St. Bernard is going to save Christmas!

Believe - you had best believe it's the season of miracles - when the a factory closing threatens to cancel the town's annual Christmas pageant. 

Benji's Very Own Christmas Story - Everyone's favorite dog (well, at least in my family) Benji needs to step in to save Christmas!

Bob's Broken Sleigh - this is a newer movie (2015) - It appears that the premise is that a little elf (Bob) is trying to upgrade Santa's sleigh - something goes wrong - there is a crash (will Christmas be canceled!?!?) - and he needs help to get back up in the air. 

Bojack Horseman Christmas Special - This animated special isn't for the kids, it also probably isn't for you unless you're into the show.  

Cat in the Hat Knows a Lot About Christmas, The - I haven't seen this - but the pictures showing up do look true to the original illustrations in the Cat in the Hat, and other Seussian hits.  It appears to be a cartoon - which is a big positive for me - as Mike Myer's terrifying turn as the Cat in the Hat ruined live action for me in the genre. 

Christmas Candle, The - Susan Boyle is in this historic holiday flick about a new minister coming to town and messing with some good old fashioned Christmas traditions. 

Christmas Chronicles - this is a new Netflix original for 2018 - a pair of siblings team up to help Santa after they cause him to crash his sleigh.

Christmas Cracker - This is a documentary about people who are obsessed with Christmas.  I'm king of disappointed that they didn't try to interview me, but I'll get over it. 

Christmas Crush - One question: what kind of school does their reunion at Christmas time? Seriously, I've only seen this in movies, in the real world aren't they always in the summer? This is a cute little flick, I've seen it, and it's about a woman getting to reunite with her high school crush at her reunion (at Christmas).

Christmas in the Smokies - Made for TV holiday magic, I tell you!  A woman trying to save her family's farm; an ex who is a famous musician? What more could you want? Oh yeah - it takes place at Christmas time!! 

Christmas Inheritance, The - This flick has one of my favorite tried-and-true made-for-tv holiday movie plot lines.  Star of the film must go and learn the true spirit of Christmas in a small town in order to receive her inheritance.

Christmas on Salvation Street - a widowed minister and his family move to the inner city, which will take some adjustment.

Christmas Prince, A -  It's a made for Netflix special about a journalist and a Prince, and CHRISTMAS. This movie was the biggest new holiday hit last year - looking forward to checking out the sequel!

Christmas Prince, The Royal Wedding - (coming November 30) - If you haven't seen A Christmas Prince, where have you been?? It was on everyone's list last holiday season - and coming soon - you'll be able to see the follow-up!

Christmas Project, The - When I saw the first screen capture, I thought it was a movie from the 1980s, but it was made in 2016 - some reviewers say it channels "A Christmas Story," and apparently is about four boys who have to make gifts for their bullies?

Christmas Ranch - This one's got all the big hits - naughty teen has to spend the holidays with Grandma on a ranch of all places, connects with a horse, tries to save the aforementioned ranch, learns an important lesson, and has a super merry Christmas.  I'm guessing - but I'm pretty sure I'm right.

Christmas Star, A - It turns out that if you're born under the Christmas Star, you have magical powers.  In reading the description, I wasn't really convinced I wanted to watch it.  Then I checked out reviews, and noticed Kylie Minogue and Pierce Brosnan in it - needless to say, I've added this to my wish list. 

Christmas Town - I've never seen this relatively new made-for-tv looking gem.  A single mother visits her father, whose town is "Totally Consumed with Christmas" - my kind of place!

Christmas Wedding Planner - This looks like the kind of movie I would see on my Hallmark Movies and Mystery binges!  A wedding planner's life is turned upside down by a PI disrupting things.

Christmas with a View - restaurant manager and new chef butt heads in this holiday romp.

Curious George, a Very Monkey Christmas - I do love those cute little Curious George cartoons, along with the Man in the Yellow Hat, it appears the two of them are having a hard time deciding what to give each other for the holiday!

Dear Santa - I'm a sucker for Amy Acker, and this is a really cute made for TV Christmas movie about a woman who finds a little girl's letter to Santa, and ends up getting involved.

Dogwalker's Christmas Tale, A - A privileged young lady has to decide between a handsome guy and adorable dogs and her super rich boss.  What do you think she'll decide?

Dreamworks Happy Holidays from Madagascar - You get a hit of Valentine's Day and then two Christmas specials! 

Dreamworks Holiday Classics - while the word "classic" might be pushing it - only time will tell!  Four holiday tales involving your favorite (?) Dreamworks' stars - the digital casts of Madagascar, Shrek, and How to Train Your Dragon.

Dreamworks Shrek's Swamp Stories - time to join everyone's favorite ogre in some fun holiday theme adventures.  Not only does this have Christmas - but Halloween as well!

El Camino Christmas - folks stuck in a liquor store robbery on Christmas Eve - I'm intrigued by the stars of this one - Jessica Alba, Dax Shepard, and Tim Allen.

Fireplace for Your Home: Classic - this has festive holiday music along with beautiful snowy scenes - wonderful for those of us anxious for winter in the middle of July!

Get Santa - Santa gets arrested? What kind of world are we living in??  Thankfully, a father-son team is going to get him out of there!

Hector - Reviews are pretty much unanimously positive about this unconventional British film about a homeless man reconnecting with his family around the holidays. 

Holiday Baggage - Time to see if getting the whole family together for the holidays will rekindle relationships. 

Holiday Breakup -  You know how your relatives give you "that look" when they find out it didn't work out with your most recent beau? These two avoid it by faking it this holiday season.

Holiday Calendar, The - This one is definitely on my list this year - a gal discovers her antique advent calendar just might be predicting the future!

Holiday Engagement - I like how this one falls alphabetically right after Holiday Breakup - a single gal hires  someone to act as her boyfriend for her family holidays.  It's a plot I've seen before, and will always take an hour and a half to watch!

Holidays - another collection of holiday themed horror shorts.  There is just one Christmas story on here, but, in general, if you like horror movies, you should give this a try.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas -  This is not the animated classic, it's the 2000 version with a terrifyingly green Jim Carey, and it does attempt to address the anti-consumerism themes of the original.  Also, there is incredibly catchy music and some fantastic hair styles.

How Sarah Got Her Wings - It's Christmas and what's an angel-in-training to do? Earn those wings!

Koala Brothers Outback Christmas, The - I'm not familiar with the Koala Brothers - but it appears it's a British show for the littles.  It is some sort of adorable claymation and I recommend it on that alone!  Seriously - who doesn't want to watch two koalas flying an airplane and tracking down their penguin friend in Antarctica? 

Kung Fu Panda: Holiday - Here is one of those newer "holiday" movies; it's winter, it's a special, meaningful holiday, etc. etc. etc. In this new arrival, Po has to deal with some wackiness, and then learn the meaning of Chris- Oops - I mean - the meaning of "Winter Feast."

Love Actually - If you love Christmas, or being a hopeless romantic, or Mariah Carey songs, or a host of other things - you will love this modern day Christmas classic!

Magic Snowflake - the Sequel to Santa's Apprentice.  So - watch that one, and then decide if you're up for a second dose.


Mariah Carey's Merriest Christmas - Say what you will about MC, she sure can belt out a Christmas tune.  This is a variety show with a bunch of other celebrities, singing, and a reading of "Twas the Night Before Christmas."

Merry Kissmas - Magical kiss with a stranger! Alert! We have a magical kiss with a stranger!!

Mickey's Magical Christmas: Snowed in at the House of Mickey Mouse - This is a Christmas special with a number of Disney Christmas shorts (I haven't seen this one - but I highly recommend Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas, so I think this is probably worth checking out).

Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas - Three cute Disney cartoons: Mickey & Minnie play out one of my favorite O. Henry stories: Gift of the Magi; Donald's three wacky nephews play out a Christmas version of the movie Groundhog Day; and Goofy and his son Max figure out that Santa is real.  *Most disturbing part: when all of the ducks at the table get excited about eating a beautifully roast turkey.

Mickey's Twice Upon a Christmas - I am imagining this to be the sequel to Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas.  According to Netflix's description it's a holiday battle between Mickey and Minnie and that mean ol' Scrooge McDuck.

Miracle on 34th Street - This is the absolutely wonderful 1994 version of this holiday classic.  I love the original, and I really feel this remake stayed so true to the message.  It's wonderful, and you should show it to your children to make sure it's a part of their childhoods.

Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir:  This is the Christmas special for an animated show about a girl who transforms herself into a superhero (Ladybug).

Miss Me This Christmas - To divorce or not to divorce? This film centers on a couple whose divorce is meant to be final on Christmas day (which sounds like a rather preposterous premise to me, but who am I to judge?)

Mule-Tide Christmas - This looks like a digital flick for the youngest of the youngsters.  You've got wicked goblins, a certain jolly old elf who wears a red suit, and his trusty mule.  Sounds good (for the 5-7 crowd) to me!

Nutcracker, The - a beautiful performance of Tchaikovsky's The Nutcracker narrated by Kevin Kline.  Worth a watch anytime.

Pee-wee's Playhouse: Christmas Special - If you're ready for a trip down mid-1980s memory lane - this is the special for you!  If Pee-wee himself isn't enough to pull you in - you've got Zsa Zsa Gabor, Frankie Avalon, Oprah, and even KD Lang to join in the fun!

Pottersville - with a name like that, it's not all that surprising that reviewers say it takes a lot of "inspiration" from It's a Wonderful Life.  If those same reviewers are to be believed - this movie is absolutely terrible, and not worth watching.

Power Rangers Samurai: Christmas Together, Friends Forever - I admit that the Power Rangers have never really grown on me.  I will also admit that I sat through countless hours of them when I was a babysitter to a family with four young sons.  I might even sit through them for 23 more minutes to see this special!

Power Rangers Super Samurai: Stuck on Christmas - here we go - some more Power Rangers (for those of you who are into that sort of thing). 

Princess Switch, The - This movie is ADORABLE! I watched it on the advice of a friend, and I loved it.  It stars Vanessa Hudgens as both the Princess and the Baker - and is festive and cute and romantic.

Puppy Star Christmas - I'm guessing Puppy Stars are a "thing" and if you, or your children, are familiar with them - you're probably very excited to see them take on a rival group.

Russell Peters Christmas, A - This 2011 movie was filmed in the style of a 1970s variety show.  Guests range from Michael Buble to Pamela Anderson. I've not seen it, so I'm hoping someone will be able to give me a good review.

Santa Buddies - those rascally golden retriever pups are at it again - Christmas style!

Santa Claws - NOT the horror movie it sounds like - this one is about KITTENS!!!

Santa's Apprentice - What DOES happen when a young orphan is picked to be Santa's successor? He becomes an apprentice of course!

Search for Santa Paws, The - If you liked Santa Buddies, you definitely want to watch this prequel!  If your children like Santa Buddies, and you need an hour and a half to enjoy a couple of glasses of wine, then they definitely need to watch this!

Spirit of Christmas, The - I've actually seen this one - I can't remember if it was on Lifetime or the Hallmark Channel.  This hardened woman goes to stay at an Inn to sell it, but ends up meeting (and maybe falling in love!?) with a handsome ghost from the past (an actual ghost, like "boo" not just a ghost from her past).

Star, The - An animated version of the Nativity Story, starring a donkey.

Trailer Park Boys: Live at the North Pole - I think the title really says it all.

Trailer Park Boys: Xmas Special - I'm not a Trailer Park Boys fan, so I'm going to leave this to you to discover on your own.

Tree Man - a documentary about the people who cultivate the most cherished of holiday memories - Christmas Trees!

Uncle Nick - Reviews are pretty much split - people either love or hate this dark comedy - it's apparently very dirty and twisted, which means I'll probably like it. This is the story of one awful brother making his slightly less terrible sibling's holiday party a failure.

Very Murray Christmas, A - If you love Bill Murray, and appreciate what an oddball he is - I think you'd better put this on the agenda for running in the background at this year's cookie baking party (which is exactly what I did last year, and probably will do again in 2016).

White Christmas - Quite possibly the greatest movie ever made.  Fact: my sister and I can perform the "Sisters" routine in its entirety, and sing the song together on a regular basis. If you've never seen it - watch it! If you've already seen it, why aren't you watching it again???

You Can't Fight Christmas - The money guy and the Christmas spirit filled decorator are going to clash - but are they ALSO going to fall in love?

"New" House

It appears I completely forgot about my plan to blog about the home buying process.  Let me sum it up for you: it's l-o-o-o-o-o-ong. 

I am actually (very) happily settled into the new house.  We were able to move forward with the second house we had an accepted offer on.  The home inspector was only able to find one problem (the paint on the bulkhead door was chipped, and had to be repainted).  Once he got his second fee for doing the follow-up inspection, we were good to go!

We got the keys on April 15th, and Dad moved in right away.  He literally brought a small mat with him and slept on the floor in his upstairs apartment that night.  I'm not sure if it was more excitement over the new place, or excitement over not staying in our (very small) spare bedroom for four months.

We love the house - the cats are incredibly happy - they have tons of space - and huge many-windowed porches on the first and second floors - we have a huge back yard, that was already set up for a really large garden.  This year, our gardens were completely populated with seedlings people gave us, or old seeds Dad or I had from previous years.  We've already started planning out for next year.

The house itself is awesome - it was built in the late 1910s - early 1920s (I just can't remember which), and it's on an island!  A certain family member of mine told me that it's "not really an island," according to her, the fact that there is a bridge to our island means that it's not real - you have to take a boat to "real" islands.  I didn't comment on this incorrect assertion, as I like to keep the peace as much as possible, and since this has been a pretty wacky year, my silence seemed to be the right move.

I'm sure you've seen that I've updated the Netflix Christmas movie list for 2016 - I will do at least one more update before the big day.

Until then - try to enjoy a delicious moose mug of eggnog!

My Eggnog & My Tree

Moving On

Waaaaay back in January life was looking pretty grand.  We had found the house we wanted, made an offer, it was accepted, the mortgage was all set - we were looking at February 29th as closing day.

(Un?)Fortunately, the appraisal process threw a big ol' wrench in the whole thing.  It turned out the sellers had been less than honest about some aspects of the property - namely, that the "in-law suite" (with its giant bedroom, full bath, kitchen sink area, etc.) has not been used in 20 years, and so there actually isn't any heat or plumbing happening in a pretty big chunk of the house.

The mortgage broker gave it a big ol' "NOPE" on that, and we were sort of back to the drawing board.  Our Realtor approached the sellers with the opportunity to either take care of business, or accept a significantly lower offer, so we could include contracting out getting it taken care of.  No dice.

This led to a pretty darn bummed out me. 

However, like every story I ever tell, there is a silver lining.  The house we had decided on was actually the very first place we looked at.  It was perfect: it was inexpensive, and it had an entire separate suite for Dad, which were our only real requirements.  It turns out it doesn't technically have that suite, so off the list it goes.  I have noticed the property description on Zillow has changed to offering "potential" for a master/in-law suite, but the price hasn't changed.

Back to the drawing board we went!  We found an assortment of properties we wanted to check out, and sent the list to our Realtor; unfortunately, he wasn't able to schedule visits for 8 days, and by the time we got to check them out, only two of our 5 were still on the market (I had no idea real estate was such a fast moving business!). We found one more to check out, all the while slowly raising the max price we were willing to consider.  The three we looked at last Saturday were 100% dumpy slums.  Just trust me on this: they were super duper gross.  One had been my frontrunner, as it had a gorgeous and huge kitchen - all updated, beautifully painted, etc.  Unfortunately, that kitchen was what my lovely sister, Faith, referred to as "gilding the turd" - the house was literally falling apart - the floors were lumpy and bumpy because the foundation was so messed up, and we couldn't even check out the second floor apartment, because the stairs/balcony were falling off the side of the house.

We were looking at other options at home that night, and found what we both saw as *ZING* our dream house - late 1800s, huge, big yard, great neighborhood, etc.  We texted our guy right away - lo and behold, it had just gone under contract earlier that day, he still set us up an appointment to see it (which was good of him, as we were a bit sore over the fact that several properties had slipped through our fingers while he was eating sandwiches or something the previous week).  Luckily, the place wasn't as spectacular in person (I would like to write to my legislators to put a law in place that only allows photos that show a place in its actual condition be posted online).

I did mention one other spot we'd been looking at, and that we were really interested in checking it out AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.  So - fast forward to Monday, and I left work a bit early, Dad and Azi met me at the place, and it was perfect.  Not only was all the plumbing working - but the house is in fantastic condition, comes with all appliances, and even a warranty.  There are currently tenants in one part, but they are relatives of the sellers, so shouldn't be too much of an issue.

We walked through - imagined our lives there, etc. etc. etc.

Then, we went and looked at a place that had just come on the market, and, you guessed it, total dump! It is the kind of place that will be really amazing if someone with enough money can fix it up.  Gorgeous huge old house, with some buckets collecting water leaking through the upstairs kitchen sealing, and parts of the building appearing to want to fall off. 

We told our guy we wanted to make an offer on place number one, and he said he'd write it up and we could sign in the morning.  We were like "NOPE" - let's do this now.  So, we got our offer in, and by the next evening, the counter offers and counter counter offers were all finished, and we've officially got a contract in place.

I'm a big flabbergasted that it's still going to take a damn month and a half for the whole process, but, for now we've got the thumbs up on the mortgage (that was all settled on the previous house), and the sellers are happy.  It's time to start packing, and imagining what I'm going to paint over the wood paneling throughout my floor!

Pending

Never has the word "pending" excited me so much!  I was doing my daily stalking of the house we're hoping to buy on Zillow.  No big deal - except it IS a big deal!  It's gone from "for sale" to "this house has a pending offer."

Now, I know there are still loads of hoops to jump through, but, unless there is some crazy event that wreaks havoc on the property - I'm going to be a home owner in just over a month!

It's kind of cool - our projected closing date is February 29th.  We decided last night that we'll have to have a party every leap day (four years between parties should give me ample time to clean up and do all the baking for the next one) to celebrate our new house.

I need to do some online querying and find out when is the appropriate time to start crowing to everyone you know about your new house.  I know with pregnancy, you're supposed to wait until the second trimester, but I'm an impatient lass, and did not hold to that those eighteen years ago.

This is shaping up to be yet another wonderful day.  I think I must have known that when I put on my favorite butterfly earrings this morning.  They are adorable, and you should buy a pair.

For sale at http://beijobrasil.com/

Adulting

I'm in the midst of one of those pivotal moments in a person's life - when big changes are happening - working on buying a house!  We've met with the realtor, gone through a mortgage broker, made an offer, etc.  My take on all of it is that I feel like such a *grown up* - which is pretty incredible, when I consider the fact that I am thirty-six years old, and have officially been an adult for half of my life.

I am beyond excited about the house happening.  Of course, like all metaphorical chickens, I can't count it until it's hatched, but I feel pretty good.  That might just be my optimistic nature talking.

It's this whole adult concept that's throwing me for a bit of a loop.  I wonder if it's some "millennial" thing - where, despite the fact that I pay my bills, have had the same job for thirteen years, have raised another human being to the point that she is almost a legal adult, etc. etc., I still feel like I'm a twelve-year-old version of myself in a mid-thirties costume.  I've got my glasses, my cardigan and top that totally match (for real, they are a set), I'm wearing one of my four pairs of black 'office shoes' and my pants are wrinkled - due to a long standing belief that ironing is for losers, and people who make quilts (FYI - people who make quilts are NOT losers, I have counted myself among their ranks in the past).

Artist's Rendering of Me

Well world, get ready for grown up Jessy to come out and play!  I'm nervous at going "public" (read: posting it on facebook) about the house - and will most likely wait until we've actually got the keys in our hot little hands.  For now - the seller has verbally accepted our offer, and is signing paperwork with the realtor today. 

I'm planning on trying to document the whole process on here.  I will have to write up a big long explanation of the over two hour process of meeting with the mortgage broker, and the ridiculousness that meant we had to offer more than we wanted to because the amount of our mortgage was too SMALL for any lenders to consider us, but that's for another day.  Today, I will languish in the joy of being a REAL grown up. 

Suddenly - it's Spring!

I love winter.  Don't think I'm one of those fickle Maine girls who likes snow until January 15th and yearns for hot beaches.  I am a 100% content with winter the way it is type of gal. 

However, if you've not been hiding under a rock with no wifi, you're most likely aware that winter has been mighty rough for us New Englanders this year.  2015 has not been kind thus far.

I'm ready to admit it - I've been aching for spring!  I'm tired of snow up above my waist for months, I'm tired of it being so cold that my nosehairs freeze, I'm tired of trying to calculate whether or not the oil in my tank will last, I'm tired of my car sliding around on ice.  It's gotten old.  Seeing as it's halfway through April, I consider this to be a perfectly reasonable opinion.

Incredibly, something amazing happened this week - Spring started!!!  Starting Sunday, the temperatures skyrocketed up to the high fifties and low sixties.  On Monday evening, I swear I saw seventy-one degrees on the thermometer in town - unfortunately, my phone was at home on my couch, so I don't have any proof - and the snow has been melting like.... like.... like a pair of edible panties in a sauna? Too crass? Just crass enough?

I've had my office window open all week, and with the exception of that one wretched spider I had to kill, it's been great!

My small windowsill garden seems to realize it's spring, and little blossoms  have begun - a couple of visual treats:

Shadows of Forsythia

My mystery succulent is making beautiful blossoms!

Unbucket List

It's that magical time of year again, when everyone is examining their plans and desires, and I have noticed a dramatic increase of the number of "bucket lists" I see when I'm scanning my Facebook feed.

I don't have an official bucket list - sure there are things I yearn to do before I leave the mortal coil: Skydiving, ride a mechanical bull, learn how to juggle, pull an awesome April Fools' prank, etc.

Honestly though, there are a lot of things I yearn to arrive at the pearly gates saying that I haven't done.  I have decided to name this list my "Unbucket List" - fitting title, no?

Things I wish not to do (and thus far haven't done - I can't include "lock my keys out of my car" because d'oh - I've done that one):

- Run out of gas
- Be kidnapped by a torture-obsessed serial killer
- Break a leg (in the metaphorical sense)
- Have someone overhear me describing how ugly their baby is
- Pass audible gas while making a speech
- Sever a finger or limb while using a table saw
- Become too PC for Cards Against Humanity

That's it for now - there are lots of other things I don't want to do, but I think that's a sufficient list for the start of 2015.

Who's That Messing with my Garden?

Yesterday, I went home in the afternoon to get some lunch, as my normal lunch (water and candy, or, lately, water and cigarettes) just wasn't doing it for me, and I wanted a sandwich.

This is my tiny garden prior to any mischief.

Walking past my tiny little garden, I saw what appeared to be a peanut.  Seeing as I live in Maine, which has never been known for a climate conducive to growing peanuts, I thought to myself "My, that looks out of place," then continued on my day, as I have an actual job that keeps me from dwelling on mystery legumes.

When I arrived home last night, I took a closer look, and discovered not one, not two, but THREE peanuts in with my strawberries, mint, and multiple basil plants.  If they had been out of their shells, I might have wondered what they were (eg "is it a seed? a bean?"), but because they were still fully dressed, I knew it was peanuts.

Artist's rendering of a fully dressed peanut

Now, you're probably thinking: "Why is Jessy complaining about such a great gift? She sure is a big jerk face!" But these are not GIFT peanuts, they are implements of destruction.  Someone or some THING has been digging up my lovely little basil seedlings (including the cinnamon basil which is the coolest thing I've ever even HEARD of), covering them with dirt, and putting peanuts in the depressions where basil used to live.

Seeing as it's 2014, I did what any thirty-something woman does when there's a mystery: I posted about it on Facebook, and immediately received the reply that it must be monkeys.  I already am less than a fan of monkeys, so the idea of them terrorizing my lovely spices just gets my goat (let's see how many animals I can name today!). 

The artist isn't very good at drawing monkeys 

Once I started thinking about monkeys, I thought - "Monkeys are more into bananas than peanuts" - because the mystery creature is not burying bananas - it must not be monkeys.

Now.... think hard here - what kind of animal loves peanuts? 

I'll tell you - it's ELEPHANTS!!!!

In all honesty, I wouldn't mind if it turned out that an elephant was using my little garden as its personal peanut storage area, but you'd think I'd find some other evidence, like giant piles of poop, or really big footsteps - and, I'll tell you, there has been not a sign of either.

And YES, I do happen to live in a neighborhood that is absolutely flush with squirrels.  I fricking love squirrels, and hate to think that they'd play me this way.  Look at this picture of a squirrel - how sweet is it???

Obviously, Squirrels are full of love

I'm not sure how squirrels feel about peanuts - but I do know they're pretty fond of being rascals.

So, I'm currently dealing with either monkeys, elephants, or squirrels - or some strange Dr. Moreau type hybrid. 

Never a dull moment in suburbia.

Happy Birthday Dude!

Back in the early 1990s, when my sister Faith and I were at our very most awkward (I fervently hope that is the most awkward I will ever be!!) we displayed our intrinsic hipness by going from calling our Dad "Dad" to calling him "Dude" (keep in mind this was long before the Big Lebowski, although in my opinion, David Brainerd could give The Dude a run for his money in straight up coolness).  I remember feeling a bit of excitement whenever I'd yell "I love you Dude!" in a crowd, like I was a secret badass.

Here are the facts:

1. My Dad is cooler than yours
2. My Dad has the best hair, and had no problem letting us style his tight curls into "Bozo the Clown" (even when we didn't have a clue who Bozo was)
3. Even though he hasn't had a mustache since I was a teenager, any time I see a man with a mustache, I immediately feel a bit of fondness toward him because of my Dad's old 'stache
4. The same goes for men smoking pipes 
5. Dad wore flannel shirts before they were cool in the nineties, and still wears them today (actually, they're the exact same shirts, and the elbows have pretty much disintegrated)

I have an amazing relationship with everyone in my family; we're a close bunch, and genuinely like each other (okay, I can only speak for myself, maybe there's an "I hate Jessy" club going on behind my back, but if there is - they're very good actors when we're hanging out).  

Some of my best memories are of doing regular old stuff with Dad/Dude.  I remember a particular trip to the dump (probably around 1987/1988), and Mom giving the usual warning of not bringing anything home.  Sure, I remember it smelling pretty bad at first, but I got used to it - and then I discovered all the treasures! I remember being baffled at what kind of person would throw away perfectly good furniture, books with the covers missing, wood that could be made into something, and more!  *I am pretty sure that we did not come home with less than we brought to the dump, but hopefully it was so super cool that Mom didn't mind.

Recently, my daughter asked me "Do you know what my favorite memory is?" I said "No," and she proceeded to reminisce about an awesome day at Dad's cabin a few years ago.  We drove up for the day, went for a walk in the woods, and Dad did his usual foraging for chives and other woodsy snacks that I would have walked right past.  I cooked up some chicken in the fire pit in his dooryard (this was before he had the chickens in the dooryard, so it wasn't a creepy thing to do), and we created art with our chicken - it was just a super chill, fun day - beautiful weather, beautiful scenery, all of that.

Three generations of cool

Dad showing off his creation, and his information source

It's memories like hers, and mine of the dump, that make me thankful I didn't grow up wealthy.  While I'm sure that folks with plenty of money have plenty of great experiences, I don't know if they are as capable of finding beauty in the little things.  Maybe that's way too judgey, I don't know.

The reason for all of my Dude-based-memories is that it's the big guy's birthday today!! He's a whopping sixty-one and seems to be improving with age.  Some day, I look forward to hearing my grandchildren talk about their fun times out in the woods with the Dude, too.  

Christmas Comes Early (every year)

If I were to make a list of my favorite things, I can assure you that sleeping would be right up there with awesome things like cotton candy, butterflies, and the smell of my sister's Peaches and Cream Barbie back in 1987 - I LOVE sleeping.

Sadly, I suffer from an inability to shut my brain off when it comes time to get to sleep, so often am still wide awake and thinking really cool thoughts in the wee hours of the morning.

This causes me some problems most of the time when I need to wake up and go to work in the morning.  I use several alarms (the best thing I discovered recently is an android app that makes you do math problems in order to snooze your alarm), but still it takes a heaping helping of "you're going to be late and get fired" to get me out of my nice, warm bed in the morning. I have drawn a really terrible illustration of me, before I am forced to leave my down filled sanctuary.

HOWEVER - a magical thing happens every year - all of a sudden, I'm not awake as late as I thought I was, and I get to sleep in EVERY morning! I do happy dances throughout the day (preferably when no one is looking, but honestly, I'm not that self-conscious), and notice that the big black circles under my eyes seem to have shrunken.

Every day is a little more magical than the last. Example: on Monday night, I was ASLEEP before 11:30 pm!!!

I don't much appreciate the fact that it's dark out when I leave my office in the afternoon, but I LOVE the sleeping late.

Unfortunately, this magical period doesn't last too long (I like to put off changing the clock in my car for as long as possible to feel just a bit naughty pulling up to work at almost 9:00 am).  And I'm back to staying up too late, and forcing myself to brush my teeth in the bathroom at work because I just don't have time at home.

I know that in the spring I will look back on this blissful period and laugh, knowing there's no way that it's worth it, as I pry my red, salty eyes open, and arrive at work only to discover that I am, in fact, half an hour late, and my hair isn't brushed, and I hate everyone.

But for now, I continue with my happy dances in the shadows!

Saving a "Life"

I believe in Karma - not in the I've studied Eastern Philosophies for years kind of way - but in the tit-for-tat - do good and good will be done to you sort of way.  To me, it just makes sense - the more positive I am, the more positive the people and things around me are.  I'm not going to try to indoctrinate people in some sort of "The Secret" type of belief system (yes, I read the book, and while I agree with a lot of it - parts of it make me want to look up the woman who wrote on it and shake a finger in her face).

As it is November, the month of being thankful (note to readers: you should practice being thankful all year round - it's pretty dang sweet), I am thankful for a really great experience I had this weekend.

I was pulling into the Walgreen's parking lot (in search of discount halloween candy, if you really need to know), and as I pulled into my chosen space, I noticed this blue wallet-y purse thing on the ground next to the car - spilling all sorts of credit cards and such. I have tried to draw it here, sadly, my scanner only does black and white (same with my pen).

I put extra effort into showing that it was quilted!

I reached down, and started putting all of the cards back inside, figuring I would bring it into the store, and see if anyone had reported losing their wallet.  While making it all fit, I saw that there was quite a big wad o' cash in there (and yes, I felt a moment of jealousy for this mystery wallet owner!).

Just then - there was a screech of tires, and a woman's voice said "Oh my GOD!" - she was stopped just behind my car, a middle-age woman, I'd guess in her sixties, and she looked at me, obviously holding tears back and said "You found it! My life is in there!"

Surprising Fact: I never went to art school

She proceeded to tell me that she must have dropped it when she got into her car, and had just come from the bank, where she had realized that she didn't have it.  She repeated that her "whole life is in there," and I nodded understandingly, because, while I do believe there's a lot more to life than credit cards, cash, and your ID, not having those things makes life feel quite impossible at times.  

She offered me a reward, and I declined, because, really, just having made her that happy was seriously quite enough of a reward for me!  

I went in and was pleasantly surprised to discover that Cadbury is doing the mini-egg style red and green candies this year (the Universe's way of rewarding me?).  

I've thought about it a lot in the past couple of days. I like to imagine that I am a pretty significant player in this woman's life for the time being - I'm the good Samaritan.  I'm sure she had terrible ideas of someone stealing her money, and her identity, and then it all worked out beautifully.  

That's my nice story - I'm thankful for that woman, she made me feel all kinds of rainbows & unicorns. I have drawn a rainbow and a unicorn, both are pretty lackluster, but hopefully they convey a bit of my joy at having saved her "life."

Fifteen Years

It's that time of year again.  My Halloween costume is almost perfect, I've successfully resisted the urge to eat too much candy (okay, let's say that my teeth are still in my head so I must not have eaten too much, right?), the heat has finally kicked on, and my arm is still a wee bit sore from my flu shot.

It must be my daughter's birthday.

She's fifteen this year, and I can't fathom where all the years have gone.  I can remember, quite clearly, the anxiousness waiting for her to make her arrival (scheduled two weeks before she showed up), and then the effort to bring her around (and the resulting promises that I would NEVER do that again).  She was perfect - her hair was (and still is) the brightest shade of red - shiny like copper - and every nurse in the wing of the hospital had to come see the little red-headed baby.

Life isn't a perfect thing, and being responsible for an entire new human being at the ripe old age of nineteen wasn't a smooth process.  Within days of coming home from the hospital, she had jaundice severe enough to require a nurse to come to the house, and for her to be a "suitcase baby" (the 1998 home version of the incubator my sister Faith stayed in at the hospital in the 1970s).  I will never forget the helplessness I felt when doctors were explaining that one of the possible outcomes of severe jaundice is brain damage.

Through the toddler years, she had chronic ear infections.  We've battled bronchiolitis, with its companion nebulizer.  Over the years there's been pneumonia, asthma, ankle sprains, ankle surgery, and strep throat countless times, nevermind the time she fell on a broken mason jar in a pond, and I spent the most terrifying twenty minute car ride to the Emergency Room with her assuring her that "No, you aren't going to die," all the while regaining my ability to pray and asking God to make that be true.
There is nothing that can prepare a nineteen year old (or a thirty-nine year old, or a ninety-nine year old) for the complete transformation from a woman to a mother.  It is, without question, the scariest, funniest, saddest, and most fulfilling thing that I've ever done.

Fifteen years in, I've heard "I love you" more times than I can count, and "I hate you" more times than I'd like to remember.  We've had long, enlightening conversations about politics, and short, angry conversations about school clothes.

I'm not sure when it was that she went from being a little combination of her Dad and me (with some of our extended family thrown into the mix) to being a completely separate person.  Yes, I know that she's always been her own person - but I can't remember when I realized that!

The crux of it all is that I love her more than would have ever imagined I'd be capable of loving.  I am proud of everything she accomplishes, she's one of the most intelligent people I know, creative, eloquent, and with fantastic taste in entertainment.

Here she is, on the day we met.

At nineteen, I certainly didn't have a clue what I was in for - but oh, it's the sweetest and most unpredictable ride of my life, and we've got decades more to go!

Why I love Netflix

Back in May, I ran into a problem with  my Netflix account - a mysterious problem where I couldn't watch any movies.  Obviously, this made me very sad, so I used the chat option for customer service (cell reception in my house is awful, I suspect it would be a very effective bomb shelter - as the walls must be WICKED thick).

Our chat was pretty normal, until there was a bit of down time, as "Joel," the Netflix customer service rep, was waiting for information on what was up with my account.

Because I like you so much, I am just going to post this portion of the transcript here for your enjoyment:

Netflix Joel

Thank you for all your patience you are awesome, Jessica!

You

Thanks, I appreciate what you're doing!

Netflix Joel

Awww, that makes me feel good, a fuzzy and stuff!

You

:)

Netflix Joel

I can't do a smiley but if I could it would be one of those big wacky smiley ones.

You

Ha ha - excellent!

Netflix Joel

Lol, your great, I'm on hold with my research team, but we are almost there.

You

Thanks!

Netflix Joel

It's all good in the neighbor hood.

Netflix Joel

I'm on it like ugly on a warthog.

You

Hmmm - trying to think of a good analogy - like a teenage girl on a sale at Hollister

Netflix Joel

Hehe, like saddles on a surfer.

You

Or compound interest on a credit card

Netflix Joel

Haha, that's a good one....ummm okay, like cheese on a burrito.

Netflix Joel

Jessica, I found out what is going on here.

You

Hooray!

You

Perhaps I should hold off on Hoorays until I know it's something easily fixed

Netflix Joel

I was telling you before that we were trying to manually verify your account right, so it looks like we ran in to an issue with your email on fix. It is an easy fix. You are able to stream now, but we need you to do three things. 1 is to change your email address on the account. 2 change your password on your Gmail account and 3 to reset your netflix password. Just to make sure everything is secure and safe, and you have no more problems, okie doke?

You

Sounds good to me!! Did my account get compromised or something?

Netflix Joel

No it didn't, but something happen to raise a flag, so just to make sure it doesn't we want you to do those three things.

You

All right - will do - thanks for all your assistance!

Netflix Joel

No, problem is there anything else I can help you with today, Jessica?

You

Nope, that was it!

Netflix Joel

Awesome, it was so great chatting with you, you made my day! Remember if you need anything we are here 24/7, have an AWESOME day! And one more thing if you wouldn't mind, please stay on the line for a one questions survey!

The moral of this (super awesome) story is that Netflix is definitely doing something right in the customer service department. I was motivated to post this after seeing another great example of good chat CS online.

Most Amazing Ad on Craigslist

Not just a 1997 Subaru Legacy L AWD Automatic - A Dream Come True! - $800 (Bangor, ME)

One fine looking car

1997 Subaru Legacy L Wagon, Silver, Automatic Transmission, AWD

This is the opportunity of a lifetime. This isn't just a car, it's a lifestyle. Not only has this car driven over 225,000 miles, but it is also a piece of marriage equality history, if you take a look at the rear of the car, you'll see a bumper sticker from the most recent (and SUCCESSFUL!) campaign for marriage equality in Maine. Above that is a rainbow lobster, this sticker was given to me for making the most calls during one of my shifts making phone calls for marriage equality the previous time it was on the ballot. The car also has an old timey sticker that says: "Pirate Girls kick butt" a belief shared by the majority of hip Americans. The rear window is graced with a sticker from my Alma Mater, University of Maine at Machias - even if you never went there, know it's an awesome school.

Now, this is not just a bumper sticker sale - there's a car here! This is my beloved 1997 Subaru Legacy L Wagon. Her name, since 2005, has been Shelly, but you can feel free to rename her. I recently had to buy a newer car, and I felt like a tiny part of me died a little bit, because I've been a Subaru Pirate girl for eight years, but it was time. 

It's YOUR turn to be a Subaru Pirate Girl (or boy, whichever the case may be). I'm not going to lie to you and say that she's in perfect condition - there are quirks, that's what you get with a car with so much experience. Right now, she needs a new alternator (which means you will either need to tow her, or replace the alternator in my driveway before you take her away). This just happened a couple of weeks ago, and when it did, I couldn't get her to the dealership as my trade in.

There are a few other issues: there is a crack in the windshield, she needs some new brakes, the rear windshield wiper motor died (I had a bike rack on and accidentally turned the rear wiper on, which burned it out). The "check engine" light has been on since 2006. If you're at all familiar with older Subarus, you know that this can easily be fixed by putting a piece of duct tape over the check engine light. The air conditioner works GREAT - however, the button won't stay in by itself, so I jam a piece of folded paper in and it works fine.

Yes, I know - those are some serious issues, but let's look at the positives!!!

Everything you could possibly need!

- The body is in fantastic condition. Every year, I have faithfully checked for any rust, and then sanded, treated for rust, primed and painted, I will give you all of my supplies so you can keep up on the maintenance, although it has been done for this year. *Yes - that is a dent on the door in the picture - but it's a rust-free dent. I've just added a photo of all of the great supplies you'll receive: Primer, Paint, Putty, Sandpaper, Rust Treatment. There have been times in my life when I felt a little out of touch, like I didn't have a lot of useful skills - in stepped my mechanic with some lessons on doing body work. I'm passing this torch to YOU.

- She comes with a full size spare - not just a donut!

- All of the windows, lights, cruise control, mirrors, etc. work great. 

Oooh! Aaah!

- Functional Cassette player (and am/fm radio) - I would even be willing to throw in my copy of The Police's Synchronicity if you want, and, if you're REALLY cool, my collection of audiobooks.

- Free bike rack with the car (if you want it) - this is the reason the rear wiper motor died, it is also super handy - you can carry two bikes with it! I haven't used the bike rack in ages, so there might be some spiders on it, but I'm pretty sure you can handle that.

- If you decide to replace the alternator in the driveway, I would be happy to stand behind you with a flashlight, and say encouraging things while you work on it.

- I'd be happy to provide you with the name and number of my mechanic, if you're local. He specializes in Subarus and is just about the nicest guy you'll ever meet (he's also a clown! Not the scary kind, the kind that charges really reasonable rates on car repairs).

I could fill a dozen craigslist ads with stories about this fantastic car, and all you have to do is give her a chance!

Lessons my Subaru taught me:
- Cup holders are not meant for ice cream cones (the ice cream will melt in your cruise control button and you'll have to jam a piece of paper in there to keep it on)
- All silver subaru legacy wagons are not the same - so, if your key won't turn in the lock, make sure it's actually your car (note: the presence of a car seat is a pretty good indicator)
- Always carry newspapers or towels with you, that way, when you and your passengers are all dressed as zombies, you won't feel the need to explain the blood splatters to everyone at work

Please email with any questions, offers, etc. In case you can't tell, the car is being sold as is.

Sorry folks, no license plate included

Yes, this is my car ad, and yes, I am making an attempt to get you, or your friends to buy my car!!! In my defense - this is a truly incredible car!!!!

Because I keep thinking of more great things to tell you about my car, you should visit the Craig's List link directly.

Winning Things vs. Dating

I love to win things.  It's definitely my number one hobby.  I'm not a fan of doing drugs - but I am pretty sure there is not a single chemical on the market that can make me feel more exhilarated than I do when I find out I won something awesome.

I don't really love to date.  My last *relationship* relationship was when the year started with a two and two zeros, I'd count, but I think it might make me question my choices about adopting more cats.

One of my beloved sisters has recently started online dating, and, being her younger sister, I was immediately jealous.  I decided to dust off my old online profile (and by dust off, I mean posting a more current picture, because there's not much lamer than using old, more attractive pictures of yourself when you're doing online dating - it will only lead to worry and disappointment. I make sure there's at least one full body picture of me, so no one can argue that there was false advertising of any sort).

I'm not sure if it's a spring thing, or if I did something different, but I received a flurry of messages from eligible bachelors in my local vicinity.  Yes, there were the requests for sexual favors that I immediately deleted, and blocked, but there were also messages from a few fellows who didn't seem like complete and total losers.

I had a date scheduled for last night, but ended up canceling it because I decided that dating someone who is serious about their religion is not going to work for me.  I 100% support people being as into their religion as they want to, but I know that would equal a serious incompatibility, as I am a lapsed non-Catholic, which is about as un-religious as you can get, while still saying "Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus" when someone runs a stop sign and almost hits you.

I decided I need to be more choosey before blindly saying "yes" to a date, and then feeling like a jerk when I cancel.  So, I've started a list of pros and cons - I'll use these to evaluate the profiles of my gentleman callers, and that should help.

It's not that I equate racism and misuse of certain words - it's just that both are totally unacceptable to me.

I've yet to get the high from any of this dating nonsense that comes from winning a trip to California, or a big ol' wad of cash, but it just might happen.

Until then, I have my sweepstakes and my cats.

Dear Jessy

I hope to keep my "Dear Jessy" Advice column as a regular blog feature, and this is where you can find all of the posts!  If you'd like to send me a question/letter - just cue up your email and send it to jerushablue@gmail.com

3/15/2103:  My New Pope

3/11/2013: Zombie Apocalypse

Dear Jessy - My New Pope

The newest addition to my "Dear Jessy" faux-advice column.  The advice isn't faux, the letters are.

Dear Jessy,

With all the scandal and ridiculousness in the Catholic Church over the past few decades, what's the big deal over the new Pope?

Losing My Religion in America

Artist's Interpretation

Dear LMR,

I totally get how you're feeling, even if I have a different response to it.  The Catholic Church has been less than stellar lately.  From the epidemic of child abuse, to the marginalization of the nuns, things have been pretty cruddy in Catholicland of late.

While I would have jumped at the opportunity to be the new Pope, I was sadly never even approached by a single Cardinal.  I'm totally over it, although the illustration above should give you an idea of how very awesome I would be (FYI - the scanner only does black and white, but the shoes are highlighter orange).

I'm actually pretty excited about a new Pope.  Some things about Francis I that make me happy are his devotion to the poor, and that he studied Chemistry in college - those are both great things!  Of course, I disagree heartily with his take on gay rights, but were we really expecting anything different?  My hope is that he will look in his heart, maybe spend some time praying, and will realize that bigotry has no place in a faith that professes loving one another as one of its main tenets.  I'm an optimistic gal, so I will keep on hoping!

The newest piece of information that leads me to believe the Pope can change his tune, and by changing his tune, potentially change the tune of millions of Catholics around the world, is the op-ed piece written by GOP US Senator Rob Portman of Ohio. Senator Portman was previously anti-gay marriage, but when his son came out in 2011, it caused him to question his beliefs.  My very favorite quote from the commentary is:

"I’ve thought a great deal about this issue, and like millions of Americans in recent years, I’ve changed my mind on the question of marriage for same-sex couples. As we strive as a nation to form a more perfect union, I believe all of our sons and daughters ought to have the same opportunity to experience the joy and stability of marriage." 

I highly recommend you read the entire piece at The Columbus Dispatch.

So, after all of that, I say YES - it is a big deal that we have a new Pope, even for lapsed non-Catholics like me.  Try to see the world through my rose-colored glasses; there is so much potential for positive change!!

Dear Jessy - Zombie Apocalypse

Have I ever mentioned that I'd like to be an advice columnist? It sounds like the best job ever.  People ask questions, and then you give your opinion, and it's just your opinion, so it's not like there's a right or wrong answer.  Unless someone asks for the square root of X, I am comfortable in my abilities to cobble together some sort of answer.

Because I am not an advice columnist, but have so very much wisdom to share with the world, I decided I'll just make my own advice column - ask myself questions.  If you decide you would like to ask a question - just do it in a comment, and I'll answer as best I can!

Dear Jessy,

Do you think that a zombie apocalypse is coming, and if so, what should people do to get ready for it?

Not-Yet-Undead in Cincinnati


Dear Not-Yet-Undead,

What a loaded question!  I know that zombies have been in the media a lot - primarily in movies, TV shows, etc., with the exception of the face eating that happened down in Florida last summer.  I don't *REALLY* think that a zombie apocalypse is going to happen any time soon - but I'm not one to say never.  Just think about all the money that is being spent on "Scientific Research" in the US - according to NBC News, roughly 2% of our taxes are going to scientific research - at least a little bit of that research is probably being done by shady men with suspicious moustaches, and women with diabolical heels, right?

Let's put it this way:  Think of 100 people you went to high school with (or maybe summer camp, work, something - some population of 100 people that you had at least a moderate familiarity with).  Now, think about the evil person(s) in that group.  There had to be at least one person who was just plain bad news - the kid/kids your Mom warned you not to spend too much time with.  Now imagine that person is some government funded scientist in an underground bunker somewhere; they are a scientific researcher, what do you think they're looking into?  Probably turning people into zombies.

If there is a zombie outbreak, I'm predicting it will start from one of four sources:

1. Evil Scientist trying to reanimate their lost love
2. Meteor (I'm looking at you, Russia)
3. Side-effect of genetically modified foods
4. Voodoo

Sure, there are lots of other causes, but I don't have the time or imagination for it today.  To prepare for the (extremely unlikely) disaster, here are my suggestions:

1. Head for the hills - literally - it's better to be at the top of a hill, that way you'll be able to see all the zombies and marauders coming your way
2. Invest in shutters now; glass is going to be zero help 
3. Don't bother with guns - in pretty much every zombie scenario EVER - their ears are not only still functional, but are extra awesome - you want to use baseball bats, sledge hammers, etc.  Flame throwers would probably be cool - until you had a flaming zombie running around lighting your house on fire
4. Stock up on the candy/cookies you like.  Imagine the apocalypse - pretty crappy, right? Now imagine the apocalypse with zero Peanut Butter M&Ms - way worse.

That's it for today.  

Just remember - if your loved ones are looking grey-faced, and try to bite you - don't just assume they're zombified and hit them with a hammer - take the time to see if they're hungover or something.

Until Tomorrow,

Jessy

If your relatives look like this - it might not be a bad idea to run away as fast as you can.